It has been a few weeks since I began the homeschool journey with Angela. In the short time I have been working with her, I have seen her improve leaps and bounds. She now willingly reads out loud with me. I started a phonics type of reading program with her and we normally do three lessons a day. She is 1/3 of the way through. At the end of the program (mid-summer), she should be on a second grade reading level! I started a second grade math curriculum with her and we do several lessons a day. She is rockin' it! It has been great having her with me.
The biggest improvement has been with her self-esteem. She said to me the other day, "Mommy, I really am smart! I'm SMART!" That was the most beautiful sound. All year the only thing I heard was how stupid she thought she was. I still can't talk about that without tears welling up. I know without a doubt this was the right choice.
People have been so supportive. I'm amazed at the level of support I have received. I'm also amazed at people I thought would be supportive have remained silent.
The path we are on now, although rewarding, has not been easy. The transition from school work to "home" work has been hard. The transition from Mommy being Mommy to Mommy also being Teacher has been very hard. Angela realizing she is in a safe place and her heart finally releasing all the things it has been carrying around, has been heartwrenchingly difficult. Me loosing just about all the "me" time I had, has been difficult. But what is Mothering? It is walking these hard roads, making the difficult choices, holding the hurting child, ignoring the unsupporters or silent ones you want support from, putting others before yourself while maintaining balance to take care of yourself, letting your children see you living a life you would want them live, and imprinting on their hearts a legacy.